Counterfactuals

• How much would you pay to definitively confirm or deny that there is intelligent life elsewhere in the universe?
• If lamps could talk, what do you think they would say to us?
• If 6 actually were afraid of 7, how would this change the foundations of mathematics?
• Would you rather be unable to open doors or unable to close doors for the rest of your life?
• If all tools were sentient cartoon creatures, what profession would be most altered, and how?
• If a cheese grater makes the cheese smaller, would a cheese less make the cheese larger? That's just a dumb joke. 
• If you could fly but could only go three feet into the air and to everyone watching you it would look like you were walking around on the ground flapping your arms crazily, how often would you use this ability?
• If you could live your life backwards, would you?
• Would you pay $1000 and drive 10 hours to a place where it was raining backwards?
• If you had to either: slip the ethnicity of the person you're talking to into every conversation; or, during every conversation, you had to ask them if they wanted to lick your balls; which one would you choose?
• What if, when babies got too large for pacifiers, they were each given a doorknob instead?
• If you had the skill to flip a coin so that it looks extremely random but always ends up on the same side, would you use this power for evil?
• If you could teleport anywhere on Earth but each time had a 1/1000 chance of dying, how many times would you use it?
• How much would you pay to look exactly like William Shakespeare for a day? Would anyone recognize you?
• If you could at any time get a free apple, but you have to first watch somebody vomit in front of you and then disappear having been seen only by you, would you use that ability?
• How much would you pay for the ability to eat metal cans? They would not have any affect on you or your teeth.
• What if all doorknobs were cocks?
• If you could, by concentrating hard, make a person grow a foot-long hair out of the top of their nose over the course of a week, how often would you do this?
• If eating rice had the same effect on you as smoking marijuana, how much rice would you eat?
• If you had a hand coming out of your butt, and it was sentient and got along well with you, would you have it removed?
• If you knew for a fact that you were going to die on your 500th laugh, beginning now, how would that change how you live your life?
• If you had a condition where you would die if you didn't get a friend to be surgically attached to you, do you think you could find one to agree?
• If you could travel backwards in time up to 5 seconds, how would you use this?
• Would you rather have your arms on backwards or your legs on backwards?
• If you had a pet rabbit that was mostly white with a little black stripe and fluffy as the softest of cottons, what would you name it?
•  Would you rather have 20,000 fifty dollar bills or 200,000,000 pennies surrounding you right now?
• What would be the most difficult change you would have to make to your life if it became a reality show for children?
• If you had to legally change your name to a random word from the dictionary, but you got to choose what page it was from, what page would you choose?
• If every time you looked someone in the eye, they turned to stone, what brand of sunglasses would you wear?
• If you could have knives for hands or hands for knives, which would you prefer? (obviously the second)
• Would you rather do your shit or waste more time?